How to be confident

I’ve always had a problem with my body image since I can remember.

I’ve always been the “chubby” one.
I’ve worked hard to get where I am today. 

It may not be my dream body or my goals.

But I’ve learned to love it! 

Its really hard to say that I’m confident because I’m not! 

I fake it till I make it.

That’s right I pretend! 

But recently I’ve got this over-powering feeling that I should just LOVE everything I hate about myself! 

Why should I go through life hating my body? 

I always see “bigger” women and get inspired – ‘They’re wearing shorts… they look good in shorts… I could wear shorts’ 

I remember these two teenagers in a store once. They were really pretty and yet they weren’t “skinny” they rocked those shorts! I remembered at that time in my life I would NEVER wear shorts,or tank tops. They inspired a young girl to finally wear shorts. 

I bet they don’t even know they did it either! (Thank you)

But now when I wear shorts… I hope there’s a young girl looking at me thinking those same thoughts I had once. 
So on my journey of loving myself(still in progress) 

I haven’t alway been body positive. 
When I was 16 I got my first job. Working with some beautiful people.

I hated it. I quit -then a few months later started there again.

My second time around I found myself liking the work and the people more. 

I had this (huge) crush on a guy that worked there. 

He was super sweet and we had a lot in common. 

A few people told me he liked me and we both made it known that we liked each other.

Before you get your hopes up and think it’s a love story… nope! Never went further then me telling him I liked him! 

No hate towards him.

But after him never texting back… Instead of being like other females I began to hate myself instead of him.

‘Why am I not good enough?’

‘Is it cause I’m fat’

‘I’m a fat loser is why he doesn’t like me’
These were all lies I told myself. 

Now in the time I had talked to him as friends… (which is how I wish it would have stayed) he helped me to really like myself.I felt pretty(what girl doesn’t when a man shows her attention?)
Now back to hating myself.

I was in self loathe mode.

Back to jeans 24/7 and you guessed it.. barely eating. 

Everyone around me (my family) disliked him. 

But I still couldn’t bring myself to hate him. 

What had he done? 

It was all my fault. 

No. It was no ones fault. It was a girls first real crush and she let him know she liked him. No harm done.
That was over a year ago and today I wish I could tell him thank you! 
Cause after self loathe came self love. 

I leaned to Love myself without anyone else loving me (I have so many people that love me) 

But I don’t need them to love me. 

(It only took me 18 years)

I still have bad days but it’s only days. Not years! 

I have way more good,body loving days then body hating days! 

The other day I posted on my social media a picture of me doing yoga! It still shocks me that I hit post. 

I still see imperfections in the mirror but I’ve learned to look in the mirror and say what I love about myself rather the what I don’t. 
It’s not about confidence it’s about love.

Body positively is a big part of my life! 

Workout to be healthy.Eat to be healthy.

Not to be skinny!
~Faithfully Anna


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