I layed in the sun for most of the day,it was perfect weather->Sun was hot and the wind was cold.
After tanning for a couple hour`s I came in and bathed.I usually shower,but today I took a bath.
I sunk down in the tub like when I was little,I put my head just far enough under the water that I could still breathe but couldn`t hear anything.
Water dripping into the tub as I listened to my own breathing.
It felt like a very peaceful moment.
Now (which by the time you read this it`ll be yesterday that I wrote it.) Now…I sit on my bed writing this,my bed by my window-which is open,letting in a nice breeze.
I`ve had a hard time with enjoying the simple things,which if you know me personally you know that`s strange for me,because I always enjoy the little things.
But lately I`ve been feeling out of place in life. Like there`s something more.It`s just right out of my reach,and no matter how much further I reach for it…I can`t grasp it.
I guess everyone goe`s through that at some point in life…Right?
You don`t know where you belong,You`re trying to figure out who you are and what you think and feel.I`m running from the expectations everyone has for me.I`m not who I was when I was 12,I`m not who I was last year,heck I`m not even who I was yesterday.
I`m asking everyone to give me the space I need to become…well to become me.Let me wear that tacky shirt without asking why I chose to wear it.Dont give me the look when I make a mistake.Embrace me.Tell me I`m doing the best I can.
Encourage me to become a good women.
My mother has raised me to have my own voice,to be honest and a good wife.
I was homeschooled so alot of my school was learning how to be a good wife for my future husband.
I can give you a clean home,make you a fresh meal from scratch and you`ll have all your laundry folded and put away.
That`s how she raised me.
But theres one thing a parent can`t teach you; how to be who you are.
How to figure out who you are.How to become who you are.
Some people my age seem to have it together,but I dont want they`re life.I want mine.
I want the adventures and lessons that make me who I will become.
There`s one thing I`ve recently learned by watching people around me.
I will never need someone to make me who I am.
Some people need a boyfriend or girlfriend to feel loved,to feel like they know who they are.
Today I enjoyed the simple things.I didn`t worry about not having a job,or money.
I didn`t worry about what other people were doing (Not that I do that anyway.) I just didn`t care today.
I let everything go,I gave it over to the Lord.
My phone`s software has been going recently (Reason I haven`t been posting) and I didn`t worry about that either.
And it has been the most amazing day ever.
I enjoyed watching my dog run around the back yard after swimming in the pool.
I enjoyed watching my sister read,I enjoyed the view of my mother picking bean`s out of her garden that she grew.
It just feel`s so nice to enjoy the simple things life gives us.
The simple things; that if you really look…Can be really important.
I hope with all of my being,that you look around and find something to be happy about,something to smile about.Something to enjoy.
Sorry for not posting lately.As soon as I get another phone I`ll be posting every Wednesday again.
Until then…Comment something simple that you enjoy.
Is it coffee in the morning with your mom?Is it that your dad sang in the car?Is it that you got to go home early from work?
Whatever it may be.Let me know!I want to hear about your little moment`s of bliss!
P.S Did you like my new style of writing?I kinda wrote it like it was a journel.